Farther On

I have had a few days of not feeling so positive about things.  Negativity born of fear has been lurking outside my heart.  Finding the door tightly shut, it has tried seeping in through the cracks.  Seems there’s always cracks. 

But I have fought with all my might.  Still, I had to explore deeply why I have not fully stepped into my creations.  Time seems short when you’re 58 and know the years will take what is theirs.  I have been so  faithful, diligent, focused and have felt joy, love and connection like never before.  But now I have to ask myself some hard questions:

·         Am I incapable of reaching this goal?

·         Is this goal actually attainable?

·         Am I too impatient?

Then comes the most important question of all:  what if the answer to all of the above is YES….what will I do differently?  And I know the answer is “nothing”. 

I have this feeling that something is just beyond my perception.  It’s like waiting for a date.  Like trying to sleep on Christmas Eve when I was a child.  It’s knowing that vacation is just a week away.  Great anticipation over something somewhere that’s coming to me somehow.  Crazy, uh? 

Maybe not...if I’m going to crash and burn, I don’t want to miss it!!  Instead of using my energy to keep it at bay, I’ve decided to invite it in with love.  If I look at what is hiding under the bed waiting to get me, it no longer holds power over me.  If I know what it is, I can love it (or ignore it) as I choose. 

I’m following my joy and bliss.  I’m living from my heart.  I have my beautiful dreams.  Whatever is “out there” to “get me” and rock my world, BRING IT ON!!  I LOVE IT!!  It is experience and isn’t experience what the human wants, needs, desires?  Everything I believe may not be true, but it does feel better to believe it.  Today I cannot see ahead.  Not even a moment ahead.  Yet, I refuse to be reduced by circumstances.  Life is what it is.  Surely by striving every moment to become a better person is worth something.  Even if it’s not, it’s more fun this way.  It just feels better than the opposite.  “Now the distance leads me farther on, though the reasons I once had are gone…”  (Jackson Browne)  Some days, that’s just all there is!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0b7VsVKSzy0

Angels

Do you believe in angels?  Most people do to some extent.  Certainly almost every religion in existence establishes the idea of angels as messengers of God.  However, most of us have never seen a glorious Angelic being with wings like drifts of snow, emanating light.  Most of us have not seen an angel such as Gabriel as described in the Bible in his epoch visit to Mary.

Most of us believe in angels because of an experience we or someone we know has had.  The story is something like this…in a moment of great need, someone or something appeared out of nowhere and leant a helping hand.  It could have been a stranger or someone known.  It is that moment of Divine Timing…something we could never have planned nor seen coming. ..when an “Earth Angel” appears and helps us out by giving us something.  It might be something material such as money, a ride, a gift or something as small as a smile or encouraging word that changes us in midstream.  Suddenly we know we are loved, protected, guided and we have the strength to move on.

Being open to receiving these gifts plays a role in how often we receive them.  I think by living our lives in an expected state of receiving miracles allow the Divine to help us even more.  Just as important is allowing the Divine to use us as Earth Angels.  By being ever ready to help others allows us to be used!  We could be called on to help a friend, family member or stranger.  By seeing ourselves as connected to each other and to the Divine brings ample opportunity.  Often we help others and never even know it, just as others help us and don’t know it. 

And what about animals?  Often they are used as angels too!  I like to think of them as “furry friends with wings”!!  The unconditional love of a pet or other animal is often the only love we might receive in a day.  Think of a time when the you came home from your day feeling so beat up and downcast, and your little dog or cat was waiting expectantly for you just to be with you and bless you with their love…no expectations included!!

Take opportunities to let others know when they uplift, encourage or otherwise help you.  Set an intention each day to help others no matter what you are doing.  Trust me, the opportunity will come.  Heaven needs all the Earth Angels it can muster!

So open yourself to Earth Angels!!  Open yourself to receiving their blessings!  BE an Earth Angel yourself!  Know that setting your intention for connection and helping others is all that it takes.  EXPECT MIRACLES EVERY DAY!  Soon, you will be amazed at how often your life is touched by one of these special people…and how often you have the opportunity to touch someone else.  LOVE.  SERVE.  REMEMBER.

Holy As the Day Is Spent

Today I discovered a song that really touched me and spoke to me…”Holy As the Day Is Spent”.  The concept of the song is that holiness and sacredness are woven into each little moment of our days.  According to the song, it could be anything from folding laundry to watching a dog dreaming.

And it’s so true, isn’t it?  Throughout each moment of our day, little miracles, sacred pauses, and holy insights occur.  And it isn’t just about the “good” stuff either.  The moments that are less than welcomed also fall into the holy times if viewed through a spiritual perspective.  These are the moments we grow, we change, we allow ourselves to go beyond what we believed we were capable of, and thus, create a new life.  And some moments are neither “good” nor “bad” they just are!  This is when we do the seemingly mundane tasks of our lives such as washing dishes, vacuuming, or cleaning the bathroom.  As Ram Dass called it, “chopping wood and carrying water”!  Often in these moments our minds are free from thoughts and AHA’s can come rushing in to fill that space. 

Ram Dass

Every single one of these daily moments has the potential to be holy if we allow it.  If we can keep our focus on the moment, let go of worry, and fully engage in the experience of NOW, this holiness can carry us through each and every day.

When I heard this song, I thought about my day today.  It began with me receiving a massage.  Now there’s a holy experience, especially when performed by the special lady that I was with!  Next, a visit to a friend who’s just had surgery.  After that I came home and had to handle some family issues.  This was less than pleasant, but I am learning from this situation.  I jumped on my mower and mowed my acre of yard….it was so cool and pleasant compared to the hot temperatures we have been having, and I saw all manner of birds, dragonflies, bees, trees and other creations of nature just waiting to welcome and bless me!  Later, my son and grandsons came over for dinner and to watch a Sponge Bob thing and life is always a blessing with them around.

Even though the day was not “perfect” by some standards, it was perfectly mine.  I will remind myself anew to embrace each moment of life as a sacred experience so that at day’s end I will know it was “holy as the day is spent”.

For your enjoyment, here is the link for the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qZyoRiBteI

Little Caylee

It all began in June of 2008.  A child missing.  A mother partying.  A news media frenzy.  All the ingredients present for the American public to sink their teeth into.  The mother was charged with murder one, child abuse and murder two.  Nancy Grace seized the story and started referring to the mother as “tot mom”.  Later a body was found.  Everyone was a scapegoat.  The parents of the “tot mom” were even put through hell and who knows the part they played.  The father (George Anthony) even left town, went to a hotel with the apparent intention of committing suicide.  Just a ploy?  Who knows what happened?  Certainly not the American public, and those following from other countries as well…we only knew what was presented with the bias of the presenters.   Yesterday, July 5, 2011, the “tot mom” was found not guilty of the murder and child abuse charges.  Of course, no jury could find her not guilty of providing false information to law enforcement.  So most likely she will walk later this week because of the time she has been in prison awaiting trial.  The American public is outraged.  “No justice for Caylee” they cry.  The tot mom will most likely get a book deal, a movie deal, surround herself with only people that support her and live happily ever after with more money than most of us have, according to Nancy Grace and others.  My facebook page filled up with cries of outrage and injustice.  These are the times in our lives when it is so difficult to understand the workings of the Universe and God.  I, too, was shocked over the verdict.  Of course, I also understand what the media does to such cases and how a jury has to know “beyond reasonable doubt” that the facts presented prove the crime was committed.

When I went to bed last night, I thought of these things.  Even if the tot mom did not kill her own baby, someone did or something happened…there is a dead baby.  What lies beneath the surface that could make this all right?  How can something like this happen with no consequences?

The answer I received was a verse from the Bible:  Be not dismayed.  God is not mocked.  For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.  This is a definitive explanation of the Law of Karma.  The Universe is in Divine Order.  RIP, baby Caylee.  You gave your life for a purpose, even if that purpose is unknown to us.

Let There Be Peace On Earth

“Let there be peace on Earth, and let it begin with me…”  How many times have we heard and/or sung this wonderful song?  And how many times have we heard the message that peace begins within each one of us?  But it’s true, isn’t it?  If each of us would find peace within our selves, take responsibility for our own thoughts and actions, and discover the place within our beings that offers only light and peace, surely World Peace would follow.  We have been toying with this idea since Jill Jackson and Sy Miller wrote these words in 1955.  I think instinctively many of us accept this idea and know the truth of it.  Yet finding peace within ourselves is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Today is July 4, 2011.  Independence Day.  The day the United States of America became a land free of political, religious and moral persecution.  A great day for freedom!  I feel so very blessed to have been born in such a great nation.  Even so, our goal has not been entirely achieved, for people in our country still suffer from political, religious and moral persecution a la the flavor du jour.  I am very grateful to each and every soul that has been sacrificed for me to be sitting here in front of my computer able to express myself without fear of retribution.  But my message today is that the time has come to stop “fighting for peace” and start BEING peace.  That is how World Peace…not just peace for the US of A, but WORLD peace, will come to be. 

“Let there be peace on EARTH, and let it begin with ME…”  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPH4LRASWbo

In My Life

A couple of weeks ago I went by the local health food store to pick up a few supplies.  I just wandered around for a bit looking at all the interesting products.  In the food section I came across something I had not thought of in quite a while…Bulgur!  It is a wheat grain with an awesome nutty flavor.  I got to thinking about how my friends and I used to prepare wonderful meals and get together, feast and listen to music!  The two things that always held us together were the food and the music!

In preparing the bulgur, we would stir fry many vegetables and then we would put them over the bulgur with soy sauce.  Not so difficult really.  But one of the friends that is very artistic in every way imaginable would cut a fresh tomato into wedges and add them on top, just as the veggies would be turned off.  Not only would it look so pretty, the tomato would just add some depth of flavor that stirs a memory of camaraderie and makes me feel accepted and a part of something bigger than myself.  I bought the bulgur, hoping to recreate that feeling.

I set about cooking the bulgur, stir frying the veggies and even adding the fresh tomato at the end.  I listened to our music during the process and then served the results up on a plate. I admired and was grateful for the bounty of nature.  I did recreate the MEMORY….and it did fill me with warmth and smiles thinking about those days.  Yet without the actual people there, the feeling fell short of the original experience.  Next time I make the dish, I will be sure to have some friends around to make my experience complete.  It won’t be the exact same experience since life has moved on and some of those folks I no longer see…yet I look forward to sharing this meal and making a new memory.

Many of the friends I have today were with me back at those tables, eating that food, listening to that music.  Others have joined in throughout the years, meeting at jobs, schools, and through connections to mutual friends and interests.  Others that moved, chose other paths or simply drifted away, I have had the pleasure of reconnecting with on facebook….that is the best part of facebook! 

Friendship requires effort like any relationship. Oh, it hasn’t always been easy and some days it still isn’t.  We have been through marriages, divorces, births, deaths, joys and sorrows.  Some of them I had to let go of, and some chose to let go of me.   I’ve lost some along the way, too…and that’s all I have to say about that, as Forrest Gump would say.  I hope that even the ones that have not remained close have a knowing within them that I am here for them should they need me….I have the same knowledge.

I feel badly for people that tell me that they don’t have many/any friends.  I have been so bountifully blessed in my life to have many.  There are a few intimate, “besties” but also many, many others that I am proud to call friends.  They are the purest form of inspiration in my life, along with my family.

Today one of my friends said in an email, “Thanks honey.  You’re a good friend.”  In that moment, I knew I had “arrived”.  It was the greatest compliment I could have received.  It is what I strive for each and every day of my life. 

In my life there have been many of you.  Thank you to the ones that stayed and loved me in spite of myself.  Those that have not, I understand.  Those I had to let go of, I love you still.  And I look forward to the ones still to come.  In my life, I’ve love you all….